Horrible News

I just got a call from Dr. Kennedy at MedVet.  Lexie's biopsies came back from her double-mastectomy.  She has Stage III mammary carcinoma.  All of the details are a blur to me right now, but Dr. Kennedy said something about her type of cancer affecting the vascular and lymphatic systems.  He also said there is a 50/50 chance that another tumor will either come back in her mammary glands or appear elsewhere within 12-15 months. 

He said that I could speak to someone in their Oncology department about possibly starting chemotherapy, but I know there is no possible way I could afford to give her chemotherapy treatments after already spending thousands of dollars on her eye treatments and surgeries.  Not only that, but there is a consultation charge just to speak with Oncology about chemo options for Lou. 

I'm too shaken up to really talk any more about this.  All I can tell you is that right now I'm heartbroken and angry.  I'm angry that they weren't able to see a Stage III carcinoma on her X-rays, abdominal ultrasound, or any blood work.  If they had, I probably wouldn't have put her through all of these surgeries and racked up another $2000 in debt on my brother's Care Credit account.  I don't mean that to sound cold or sound like all I'm thinking about is money, because it absolutely isn't.  It's just one of the things I'm so angry about right now.  Mainly, I'm feeling horrible for putting Lexie through all of this.  Recovery has not been easy on her, or any of us, and now it doesn't even feel like "recovery."  It feels more like I'm putting us all through torture.  I thought that this tough recovery period would be 100% worth it once she was all better and was able to adjust to her new life as a blind Dobe, but now....