An Update and a New Blog

Justin and I found a way to ease the pain of grieving our Lexie (or, at the very least, distract us from it).  Everyone, meet Margot.  :)

We bought her all kinds of new toys, but her favorite toys are by far Lexie's old stuffed animals.  (This photo brings me to tears every time I look at it.)

If you'd like to see LOTS of cute Dobe puppy pictures and hear about the ups and downs of raising Margot, I welcome you to follow my new blog.  Take care, everyone.  :)

I'm So Exhausted

Last night, Justin and I agreed that the swelling over Lexie’s right eye may have worsened a bit (I photographed her from the left side so you could see how far her right eye incision is bulging out).  Neither of us was very concerned, as we thought she possibly just bonked her head while we were at work, but we thought it might be a good idea to call MedVet anyway.  After all, last Saturday, when a woman from MedVet called to check on Lexie, I mentioned to her that I noticed a tinge of blood in Lexie’s stool that day, and she told me to discontinue Lexie’s anti-inflammatory medication, as that can sometimes cause bowel irritation.  So, Lexie hasn’t been taking her anti-inflammatory medication since last Saturday, and I thought that maybe they would just prescribe her a different kind of anti-inflammatory once I told them that the swelling in her eye had gotten a little worse.

The woman I spoke to last night, Julie, asked me all sorts of questions:  How has Lexie’s appetite been?  Is she drinking water?  Is she going to the bathroom regularly?  How is her mood?  I was able to answer all of these questions with either “good” or “yes.”  Then, Julie asked if the swollen skin around Lexie’s right eye was warm or tender to the touch.  I put her on hold as I felt Lexie’s eye, but I couldn’t really feel a difference in temperature between her right and left eye, and she didn’t act like it bothered her when I touched it.  Then, Julie asked me to take a couple of pictures of Lexie’s eye, email the photos to Dr. Kennedy, Lexie’s soft tissue surgeon, take Lexie’s temperature (note to self: NEVER use the digital Walgreens thermometer EVER again!), and then call her back.

After following Julie’s instructions (Lexie’s temperature was 101.2, which is in the normal range for a dog), she contacted Dr. Kennedy, who reviewed the photos I sent him.  He said it looks like it could just be a seroma, which is normal.  However, if the swollen area becomes tender, if we notice a discharge that looks more like frank blood and not bloody fluid, if there is an odor, or if the discharge looks like pus then we are to bring Lexie back to MedVet because it could be an abscess.

Greeeeeaaaaat. 

 All I could do for the rest of the night was stare at Lexie’s swollen eye.  I went to bed in tears over the possibility of having to take her back to MedVet. 

This morning, the swelling didn’t look any better.  Then, after Lexie bumped her face on the steps while coming back inside after going outside to pee, I noticed a little bit of blood (not bloody fluid) coming from the swollen part of her eye.  I've also noticed that Lou's appetite seems to be diminishing, although Justin thinks she’s just becoming picky because we made the mistake of feeding her a lot of table food when she first came home.  At first, she would eat both table food and dog food, then she stopped eating her dog food, and now she’s even becoming a little picky about table food.  I used to put her medication inside little balls of bread, which she loved, but now she turns her nose every time I offer her the same bread.  Then, I started putting her medication inside these organic peanut butter treats our friends, Zoltan and Sarah, made for her, which Lexie also loved at first, but now she no longer seems interested in them.  This morning, the only way I could get her to take her medication was to put the pills inside rolled up slices of cheese, and even then I felt like I was making her eat them.  Not only that, but she looked kind of shaky and unsteady on her feet while she was walking around this morning (all the more reason for me to worry about her while I’m at work today).

I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.  My life has basically been CONSUMED with worrying and taking care of Lexie ever since she first became sick at the beginning of June.  In fact, I feel like I no longer have a life of my own. 

I have a large, close group of friends, whom I love.  We would all hang out at least a couple times a week and on the weekends, and when we weren’t hanging out, we would all keep in touch daily via social networking and text messaging.  However, I can’t tell you the last time I sent someone a text or posted anything on Facebook or Twitter that wasn’t Lexie-related.  For that reason, I haven’t really texted anyone or tweeted in a long time because I feel like I’m just wearing everyone out with Lexie stuff at this point, and yet there’s honestly nothing more important to me right now, which is why I can’t even think of anything else to talk about.  I have also turned down several invites to various cook-outs and other random opportunities to hang out because I needed to stay home and take care of Lexie.  I have made time to hang out with my friends on a few occasions over the last couple of weeks, but whenever I do, I feel like I literally have to bite my tongue to keep myself from talking about Lou all night, and I just worry about her the whole time anyway. 

I’ve also fallen behind with my photo editing (I’m a photographer on the side) because of all my trips to Ohio and now having to watch Lexie like a hawk, and my house is a complete wreck for the same reasons.  Justin and I haven’t done anything fun or spent any quality time together since June, either.  Our lives and conversations revolve solely around Lexie.  We’ve got a big beach trip with our friends coming up at the end of August, which normally I’d be super excited about, but this year I’m almost dreading it because I know I’ll just be worrying about Lexie the whole time (she’s going to be staying with Justin’s parents, and she’s not very familiar with them or their house).  Not to mention the fact that I’m the type of person who eats her feelings, so let’s just say that I’m not exactly feeling “bikini-ready” at the moment (all of my work pants are fitting kind of snug lately, which makes me feel awesome.)  In general, I really miss what my life was like before June, 2012. 

With that said, please do not take this little rant to mean that I regret even one single minute of the time I’ve spent taking care of my Lou, because I don’t…at all!  I’m just venting, basically, because I do miss my friends, I do miss having fun, I do miss doing “couple things” with Justin, I do miss not worrying about Lexie 24/7, I do miss feeling comfortable in my clothes, I do miss having at least a little bit of spending money, and I do miss feeling like I’m more on top of things like housework, editing, bills, etc.    

I just want things to feel normal again, but now that I’m sitting here wondering if I’ll be taking Lexie BACK to MedVet soon, it just makes me feel like this TRULY is never going to end. 

An ER-Free Weekend!

That's right, we made it through the entire weekend without an emergency trip to the ER!  Woo hoo!  Lexie's incisions barely even had any oozing yesterday.  (By the way, I wish there was another word I could use besides "oozing," because that just sounds so gross to me, but I really don't know what else to call it.) 

Sam has continued to be a little pouty, but usually only when Lexie is actively receiving more attention than her, especially from Justin.  For example, I took these photos yesterday of Justin giving Lexie a little bit of lovin's and also helping her eat (it's difficult for Lou to reach the food in her new elevated bowl when she's wearing her E-collar, so we have to kind of tilt the bowl towards her so she can get the food):

After I took those photos, I turned around to find Sam laying on the couch in full-pout mode as she watched HER Justin giving Lexie all of his attention:

Yes, I know.  She's pitiful.  Don't let her fool you, though.  Sam knows what she's doing.  She knows that as soon as we see her in such a pitiful state, she will immediately receive some undivided attention from either or both of us, which is exactly what happened after I took that photo of her.  At least she's just being pouty in order to receive attention, though, and she's not actually being resentful toward Lexie.  Just a few moments after the above photo was taken, I found Sam curled up with Lexie in the new doggy bed:

Earlier, I had experienced another "awwwww" moment when Zach and Kristy came over to watch True Blood.  Lexie loves Kristy, who was her running partner before Lexie went blind, and Kristy loves Lexie.  So, as soon as Lexie heard Kristy's voice last night, she got up from her doggy bed and tried to find her.  Kristy had followed Zach into the laundry room and didn't realize Lexie was looking for her, but I watched silently from the couch as Lexie found her way through the kitchen all by herself and finally reached Kristy.  When Kristy felt Lexie kind of run into the back of her legs, she spun around and said, "Hi, Lou!" then bent down to pet her.  As I saw Lexie do the infamous "Dobe lean" into Kristy's arms (the equivalent of a human hug for Dobermans), I immediately teared up. 

The best moment of the night, though, came when Justin and I were taking care of Lexie before bed.  While administering her last dose of pain meds for the night and making sure her E-collar was secure, both Sam and Jocie came over to "help" me and Justin tuck Lou in:

All in all, it was a very good, drama-free weekend at our house...for a change!  We've still got a long road ahead of us, as right now we're just sort of in the initial "stitches-watching" phase, which is going to last about another week and a half until her stitches come out.  Then, we can REALLY dive into helping Lexie adjust by taking her on walks with her sisters, trying new games, and just working with her in general to help her become as independent as possible.

A Little Forward and a Little Backward

I'm definitely considering Lexie's unwillingness to go into the back yard to use the bathroom a step backward for now.  I don't understand it.  She managed to find her way around the back yard before her enucleation (when she first went blind), and even after her enucleation Lexie has gone down the back steps into the yard, used the bathroom, and found her way back up the steps without much difficulty, but only a couple of times.  Since her enucleation surgery, she just does not want to come out onto the back deck, let alone find her way down the steps to the yard.  I just don't get it!

The only way we've been able to get Lexie to use the bathroom since she's come home from MedVet is to put on her harness and walk her out to the grassy median in front of the house.  For some reason, she has no problem manipulating the two sets of steps leading from our front door and down to the walkway, so I'm totally puzzled about why she won't do the same for the steps in the back yard.


Anyway, Justin and I had the best, laziest Saturday with our Lou.  She spent most of the day zonked out due to her pain medication, but during the times she was awake she was all smiles.

All day yesterday, Justin and I tried to get Lexie to get up on the couch with us, which has always been her favorite place to sleep and cuddle.  However, she just seemed too nervous to try.  This morning, however, I came downstairs and found her sound asleep on the couch.  Her E-collars were on the floor, so I checked her stitches immediately and was relieved to find them perfectly intact.  Then, after replacing her hard E-collar, I proceeded to cuddle her like crazy on the couch for the next three hours.

While we were cuddling, the "old Lou" made her first appearance since before her surgeries.  One of the reasons why Lexie earned her reputation as being "our little turd" is because of how demanding she can be when it comes to receiving cuddles and attention.  As you can see in the following video, if I stopped petting her for more than a few seconds, she'd start groaning in protest:



By the way, I realize that some people may find Lexie's incisions a little hard to look at, but, if it makes you feel any better, her incisions look really good, especially compared to after her last surgery.  Here is a side-by-side comparison:

So, I guess that's the update for now.  She's happy and her wounds all look good, but we haven't made a ton of forward progress yet in terms of her adjustment to blindness.  It's only been two days, though.  I can tell you this much:  it's going to be SO HARD for me to leave Lexie and go to work tomorrow.  I'm probably going to worry about her all day, but at least Justin always comes home for lunch and he can check on her for me.

Lexie's Second Homecoming

Lexie was SO happy to be going home last night!  As you can hear in the video, though, I was a little disappointed when they brought her out without a hard E-collar.  The inflatable one she's wearing belongs to me, but it doesn't protect her from bumping her face when she bumps into things.  However, when I asked (once again) if I could have a hard E-collar to take home, the vet tech told me that the inflatable one should be enough to protect Lexie's stitches.  I was too excited about taking Lexie home to insist or argue about it, so I didn't push the issue.  After all, I own a hard E-collar that she could wear that night, and I could always go to Dr. Ellis at Animal Care Clinic if the collar I have doesn't work out for her.

I couldn't see her repaired incisions because her head was already wrapped with bandages, but at first glance it didn't look like her wounds were oozing half as much as they were the last time I picked her up after her second surgery.  Lexie also looked like she had had a tummy tuck!  After her emergency C-section due to pyometra last summer, Lexie was left with a saggy, flabby belly.  It didn't bother me, but people would sometimes ask me if Lou had just had a litter of puppies.  Haha!  "Nope.  She's just fat."  Anyway, I'm just saying that having a mastectomy has left Lexie looking very svelte.  

As we left MedVet (hopefully for the last time), Lexie was so excited that she was swinging her head from side to side while she walked, like a little Lexie Wonder!  When I opened the car door, she recognized that sound right away and knew exactly how to climb up into the back seat all by herself.  I had her new doggy bed laying in the middle of the back seat, and she plopped right down on top of it.  I climbed into the back seat and sat behind her, but that wasn't good enough for me.  I wanted to cuddle her little face!  So, I maneuvered my way down to the other end of the back seat where Lexie's head was laying, and as soon as I sat down by her face, Lexie immediately laid her head and put her paws in my lap.  It was a total "awwwww" moment.  Then, after we got back on the road, I noticed she was shivering a little bit because the air conditioning was blowing on her.  Luckily, I had brought her favorite comforter, and so Lexie and I snuggled under the blankets during the entire three-hour ride back to West Virginia.

Once we were home, Lexie knew EXACTLY where she was, and she was so happy!  I decided to take her out to the back yard with her sisters before taking off her harness, just in case I needed to help her find her way up and down the deck steps and the back yard.  She did really well, though!  She was a tad apprehensive about going down the steps, but as soon as she found the yard she peed immediately, and then successfully made her way back up the steps and into the house without much difficulty.

When I removed Lexie's bandages, I did notice some blood (or "bloody fluid," I should say), but not nearly as much as after her last surgery.  In fact, her incisions look pretty good!  There's some swelling above her right eye, and that right incision still oozes a lot more than the left, but I think that may have something to do with the fact that her right eye has the vertical incision.

On a side note, one thing I hadn't really considered while preparing for Lexie's homecoming was the fact that Sam is now going to go through a new adjustment period, too.  This may sound awful, but Sam actually acted a little hurt or upset about Lexie being home again.  To be fair, Sam LOVES attention, but has always been perfectly content to sort of take the back seat to Lexie, who is a little more demanding about receiving attention whenever she wants it, which is just about always.  So, while Lexie was at MedVet over the past couple of weeks, Sam gradually became more and more assertive about receiving attention from me and Justin whenever SHE wanted it.  As soon as Lexie walked through the front door last night, though, it's like someone completely let the air out of Sam's tires.  She kind of curled up in the corner of the couch and pouted while everyone fussed over Lexie (Zach and Kristy came over to welcome Lexie home, too).

I do feel bad that Sam's not receiving as much one-on-one attention now that Lexie is home, but unfortunately it can't really be helped right now.  Lexie is going to need extra attention as she heals and learns how to safely navigate around the house and back yard.  Justin and I are trying to be as mindful as possible of Sam's feelings and give her extra cuddles whenever we can, but I think it's going to be a bit of a delicate juggling act with those two for a while.  (Jocie, by the way, hasn't been affected at all by anything that's been going on, but that's just Jocie.)

Anyway, after watching Lexie bump her face on a couple different things in the house, I decided to fasten the hard E-collar I had over top of the inflatable E-collar she was already wearing.  (That way, she can't pull the hard E-collar off.)  At first, Justin and I felt bad for Lexie because of all the stuff around her poor little head, but once we saw how much better the hard E-collar was protecting her from bumping her face into things, we didn't feel so bad anymore.

Unfortunately, as soon as Justin and I went upstairs to go to bed last night, Lexie managed to pull both the hard and inflatable E-collars off.  Justin discovered this when he ran back downstairs to get something.  So, we decided it might be best to sleep in the same room as Lexie for at least the first night.  Justin slept on the couch, but I chose to sleep on Lexie's new doggy bed in the floor with her (the purple pillow in that photo was mine).  Haha!   It was uncomfortable and blissful all at once, but she barely moved all night long.

When I tried to get Lexie to go out this morning, she acted like she wanted to at first, but as soon as she made it to the back door, she became very apprehensive about going outside.  I tried calling her for a while, but when that didn't work I decided to try leading her out with her harness and leash.  At first, that seemed to be working, but as soon as Lexie reached the steps, she decided she didn't want to go down them.  I told her that was fine, that she didn't HAVE to go pee right now if she wanted to hold it, but when I tried to get her to go back inside, she wouldn't budge.  In fact, I think she was a little disoriented at that point and wasn't really sure which way she was facing.  I jokingly informed Justin that Lexie was "lost on the back deck," but I knew she would figure it out eventually.  She did, but it took a LONG time for her to come back inside.

So, getting Lexie to go out to use the bathroom during the day is apparently still going to be a challenge, but I'm hoping she'll become more comfortable with that routine over time.  For now, she's sleeping a lot, but she's eating and drinking like a champ.  She's also SUPER cuddly, which you'll never hear me complain about.  In fact, as I began typing this blog post, Lexie followed the sound of my typing, found me on the couch, and did this:

:)

Missing Lou, Part 2 (Pics)

I thought I'd take a moment to share some of the photos of Lexie I've been staring at on my iPhone for the past week, just because I'm missing her so badly and cannot wait to see her little face on Saturday (or possibly tomorrow night)!!!

Me and Lou:

After a walk with Lexie and her sisters, Jocie and Sam:

Lou loves to cuddle more than anything in the world, and her two favorite things to cuddle are her stuffed animals.......

....and her big sister, Sam.

Lexie has recently done a little bonding with our new roommate, Ashley:

Lexie especially loves her "adoptive" Daddy, Justin:

Lexie is also very helpful around the house.  She loves to "help" Justin cook.....

....and occasionally she will "help" me fold laundry:

Here are just a few examples of why we so loving call Lou our "little turd" (we mean that in the best possible way, I swear):

She likes to eat my Burt's Bees:

This next photo was Lexie's way of telling us one night that she was hungry.  She carried her bowl into the living room, but when we ignored her, she found her bunny and put it into the bowl, as if to demonstrate for us the fact that we were supposed to put something in the bowl (my favorite part of this photo is "the glare"):

In general, Lexie is pretty adorable:

:)