Regression and a Big Decision Today

Despite having a really good Sunday evening, Monday, and Tuesday morning, when I got home from work yesterday evening, Lexie had regressed.  She didn't want to eat anything, not even hot dogs, and she was very weak.  A little later in the evening, she finally went into the kitchen to drink some water.  She drank a TON of water, actually, but then she staggered into the living room and threw up all the water she had just drank.  Justin tried to tell me that she probably threw it up simply because she drank so much so quickly, but there was no consoling me.  I knew that none of this was good.

We decided to sleep in the living room with Lexie last night because she had started moaning and groaning a bit.  Mind you, Dobermans are known to be big whiney babies, especially when they're wanting some attention, and this is definitely true with Lexie.  However, Justin and I didn't sleep all night because we each took turns laying in the floor, spooning Lou and trying to comfort her.  No matter how much we cuddled her, though, she continued to moan and groan all night long. 

Finally, around 5:00 a.m., I tried to give her two Tramadol pills for pain.  She wouldn't open her mouth for me, but I managed to pry her jaws open just enough to slip the tablets into her mouth.  A few minutes later, she spit them out.  We did this a couple more times before she finally swallowed them.  I thought that the pain medication would at least knock Lexie out so that maybe Justin and I could sleep for a half-hour before we had to get up for work, but she still continued to moan and groan.

At that point, I felt that it was probably time to end Lexie's suffering.  It just so happens that she already had an appointment with Dr. Ellis this morning because she's supposed to have her stitches removed today (such cruel irony).  So, I texted Zach, Kristy, and my mother to give them all the heads up that Lexie may not be coming home from the vet today.  Zach and Kristy both came over to say their potential good-byes.  I asked Justin if he would be willing to help me take Lexie to the vet because I wasn't even sure at that point if she was able to walk.  She had barely moved a muscle all night long.  However, when I asked Lexie if she had to go pee, she actually sat up.  She even managed to stand up, although she was very unsteady, probably due to a combination of the pain medication making her loopy and half of her body being asleep from not moving all night.  Regardless, she managed to find her way onto the porch, then down the front steps and into the yard to pee.  She even got into the car all by herself.

Normally, I'd be very happy about those things, especially with Lexie getting into the car independently, but all it did was make me even more confused about what I should do.  On one hand, I know I'm going to have to euthanize her eventually, no matter what, and I certainly don't want her to suffer if she's in pain.  On the other hand (and I realize I'm probably just trying to convince myself of this), I keep wondering if her backslide yesterday evening and all the moaning last night were reactions to stopping her pain medication cold turkey.  (We stopped giving her the Tramadol after her Monday morning dose.) 

The reason I'm having such a hard time just "letting go" right now is because I want SO BADLY to be able to give her at least a few happy days after being fully recovered from her surgeries before it's time to finally say good-bye.  When I told this to Kristy this morning, she said, "But you have given her a LOT of good days.  She's lived a very happy life."  I know this is true, and Kristy makes a good point, but I just hate with all my heart the thought of Lexie going through all this pain and misery, all those trips to Ohio, those long, overnight stays at MedVet, and THREE surgeries, only to finally come home and be euthanized before her stitches are even removed.  I mean, what was the point of any of this?!?

People also keep telling me not to beat myself up and that I made the best decisions with the information that I was given at the time.  I know this is also true; however, that doesn't make any of this easier for me to accept.  It doesn't stop me from being SO ANGRY over the fact that I was told Lexie's abdominal ultrasound showed no signs of cancer, which was the reason why I decided to let her have the enucleation surgery in the first place.

Speaking of that, I sent Dr. Kennedy an email full of questions yesterday, to which he replied yesterday evening....from his iPhone.  I am now going to copy and paste the questions I emailed to him and his answers for you to read (I have not altered this text in any way, other than highlighting his responses):

1. Could you please tell me again exactly what Lexie’s cancer diagnosis is?  I tried to take notes while we were on the phone, but all I wrote down was “vascular and lymphatics,” “inflammatory mammary carcinoma, “Stage III,” and “50/50 it will return in 12-15 months.”  Obviously, I should have taken better notes, but I was in a combined state of shock and devastation at the time.

Mammary carcinoma

2. You mentioned on the phone that the size of the two mammary tumors removed during Lexie’s surgery were quite large, and you said this was “concerning.”  I actually have a few questions regarding this:
   1. How big were the tumors? Over five cm
   2. Why is the size of the tumors still concerning if they were removed? Because we could not take the amount of normal tissue desired to be sure all cancer was removed
   3. When you first mentioned the possibility of removing Lexie’s swollen mammary glands on July 7, 2012, because you said the tumors could be cancerous, I informed you that Lexie had just recently had an abdominal ultrasound, which I was told showed no cancerous tumors.  At that time, you explained that it takes billions of cells to form even a small tumor that is visible enough to be seen on an ultrasound.  If that is the case, and the two tumors removed during Lexie’s surgery were so large that you find them to be concerning, why weren’t they visible on her abdominal ultrasound performed June 20, 2012? The statement about the cells refers to x-rays. I do not know what to say about the presence of the masses at the time of the ultrasound. There is always some mixed inflammation. In these rumors and that might be why they were so obvious to me.

3. When you said that there is a 50% chance that another tumor will appear within 12-15 months, does that mean that the two tumors that were removed during Lexie’s mastectomy were the only cancerous tumors she had?

The only ones we could detect. It is likely that more will form in others glands or within our surgery site

4. You mentioned something about further tests being done on the tumors to see if any lymph nodes were also removed during surgery.  Could you please re-explain the reason for this?  Also, when do you expect to have the results of these additional tests? We submitted a mass of tissue. The lymph node should be in that mind of tissue. If the pathologist finds it he can assess any sites for metastasis (spread) as this will worsen her prognosis if found.

I do not know when to expect it back but hopefully by the end of this week

5. Does Lexie have a life expectancy given her recent diagnosis?

 Potentially as little as 5-7 months

6. Do you know of any current clinical trials for canine cancer treatments for which Lexie might be eligible?

 not that I'm aware of

I'm a little infuriated by his response to question #2c.  Why would he have answered my question about Lexie's abdominal ultrasound with information that pertained to X-rays?  I am 100% certain that I did not ask him about Lexie's X-rays because 1) her X-rays were not performed at MedVet; they were done at Animal Care Clinic in Huntington, and 2) When Dr. Kennedy called on July 7 to discuss Lexie's swollen mammary glands, I mentioned her abdominal ultrasound to him because it had just been performed at MedVet two weeks prior, and I was told that the ultrasound did not show any cancer.  I didn't mention Lexie's X-rays to him because they were X-rays of her chest, not her abdomen.

Anyway, I know that what's done is done and that going over all the shoulda, woulda, coulda's isn't going to change anything, but I just feel so...wronged.  While I can accept that Lexie has cancer and will eventually need to be euthanized, possibly even today, I simply cannot accept the fact that the veterinarians at MedVet missed two Stage III mammary carcinoma tumors that were both over 5 cm in size, nor do I find Dr. Kennedy's reply of "I do not know what to say about the presence of the masses at the time of the ultrasound..." to be acceptable in the least.  I plan to call MedVet today to request a copy of Lexie's medical records, including her ultrasound images.  If another veterinarian looks at Lou's ultrasound and tells me that they do not see cancer, then maybe I will stop feeling so angry. 

In the meantime, Lexie is currently at Animal Care Clinic, and I am waiting for a phone call from Dr. Ellis so we can discuss Lexie's current condition and whether or not she should be euthanized today.  If Dr. Ellis tells me that Lexie's behavior yesterday evening and last night were a result of the sudden medication withdrawal or possibly some other explanation, and if she thinks that Lexie's still got a few good, pain-free months left in her, I will probably choose to bring her home.  If Dr. Ellis tells me that Lexie is in pain due to the cancer, I will not make my Lou suffer any longer.

Making Momma Worry

Yeah, I'm worrying a little about my Lou.  She's not eating, she's losing weight, but she's also drinking a TON of water and peeing inside the house.  I thought her increased thirst and decreased appetite might be side effects to her Tramadol (pain medication).  We tried cutting back her pain medication for about a day, but then the following night I noticed she was trembling.  So, we decided we might be trying to ween her off the pain medication too soon and resumed giving her two Tramadol in the morning and two more at night.

As for her desire to eat, it's hard to tell if she's just being picky or if she's genuinely not hungry.  Justin and I ate dinner at restaurants almost every night this past week so that the girls wouldn't smell our food and think that they had any food options other than their own dog food.  Despite our brilliant plan, Lexie never seemed interested in eating her own food.  I got her to nibble some dog food a few nights ago, but it wasn't much, and I didn't see her eat again for two whole days afterwards.  Obviously, this started to worry us, so Justin and I decided last night to give into Lexie's "hunger strike," if that's what it was, to see if she'd eat some people food.  If she turned her nose up at the people food, then we'd know there was a more serious problem happening.

Well, after Lexie anxiously gobbled up an entire package of faux crab meat and two slices of American cheese last night, we've determined that she does still have an appetite after all.  Now, the question is how do we get her to start eating dog food again?!?!  We've thought about buying some canned food and mixing it in with her dry food, but you have to remember that Jocie and Sam are going to want to eat the canned food, too, and canned food is more expensive than dry food.  Therefore, we're kind of afraid to "spoil" them on canned food, as well.  Lexie HAS to eat, though!  She's lost so much weight that I noticed her harness is actually falling off of her now.  She also seems kind of weak on her feet.  

Then, there's the issue of Lexie using the dining room rug as her new toilet.  This is infuriating me, but I have no idea what to do!  The couple of times that I've actually caught her peeing on the rug, I've told her "no," rushed her outside, and then praised her like crazy when she finished peeing in the grass.  I just feel bad yelling at her too much because she drinks a TON of water, so I know she must have to pee a lot, and we're not there at all hours of the day to let her out every time she needs to go.  I'm just worried that maybe this amount of thirst, especially coupled with a decreased appetite, could possibly be a sign that something isn't right.  On the other hand, I'm also worried that she might get into the habit of peeing in the dining room whenever she has to go instead of trying to hold it until I can take her outside.

UUUuuuuuuugggghhhhh!!!!!!  

On a better note, her incisions are looking fantastic.  The swelling over her right eye is looking better and better every day.  Here is a comparison of how she looked Monday compared to how she looked yesterday:

You can see how much the swelling has gone down, and also how her eyes are kind of "sinking in" now.  I just wish I could be happier about the healing progress, but for the time being I'm just too worried about everything else.  She does have an appointment to have her stitches removed this coming Wednesday, though, so I plan to talk about all these concerns with Dr. Ellis.  

Switching to Weekly Updates (Plus, a Funny Little Story)

I meant to mention this in my post yesterday, but since there haven't been any major developments or emergencies with Lexie over the past week (thank GOD!), I probably will not be giving daily updates from this point on, unless something out of the ordinary happens, of course.  Instead, I will probably start posting weekly updates about Lou's recovery and adjustment to her new life as a blind Dobe.  This way, I won't wear you out with boring posts like, "Lexie ate, drank, slept, and used the bathroom a couple times today.  Tune in tomorrow to see what exciting things she does next!" 

I will tell you that the swelling above her right eye is now showing definite signs of improvement, which is quite a relief.  Her left eye must have had a tad bit of swelling, too, which I didn't really notice until yesterday.  It's not that I noticed her left eye was swollen, though, it's more like I've noticed that the swelling must be going away because now her left eye is actually starting to look a little "sunken in."  It's a little weird, I'm not going to lie, but at least her incision in that eye looks really, really good. 

Another weird thing I've noticed is that, even though Lexie no longer has any eyes in her sockets, the muscles around her eyes still move sometimes, as though she's looking around.  In fact, when I first noticed this the other night, it was actually quite a funny moment.  (I'm a little embarrassed to share this, but it's too funny to keep to myself.) 

Now, admittedly, I was a bit tipsy when this happened.  Justin and I were having a nice, relaxing evening at home, and I had probably had two or three glasses of wine by this point.  I decided to use the flashlight app on my iPhone to check Lexie's incisions, and when I held the flashlight up to her face, I noticed her eye muscles move.  Obviously, her eye muscles were probably just reacting to the sensation of something being held close to her face all of a sudden, but in my tipsy state I actually thought that she had reacted to the light.  So, I said to Justin, "Hey, are we sure that Lexie can't see anything?"  (Mind you, her eyeballs have been surgically removed.)  Justin immediately burst into laughter, then quickly regained his composure and said, in a very calm and reassuring manner, "I am absolutely, 100% positive."

Okay, okay, so maybe it wasn't the smartest question I've ever asked, but at least it's given us something to laugh about.  :)

One Week Post-Surgery

Well, we've made it a WHOLE WEEK without having to rush Lexie to the vet!  Hooray!!!  I am also happy to report that, as of this morning, the swelling above Lexie's right eye looks like it may have gone down a tiny bit.  It hasn't improved much, by any means, but some progress is better than no progress.  I'm not worried about it being an abscess, either, because it's not tender, it's not seeping at all, and it doesn't feel warm to the touch.  In fact, her incisions actually look really good!  She's such a good patient, too.  She never protests when I apply a warm compress to her eye, and last night she even let me clean some of the dried scabs off of her cheek and the bridge of her nose without whining or even moving a muscle.  I figure Lexie's been poked and prodded so much at this point that she probably understands that people are actually trying to help her whenever they mess with her face and eyes like that.

As far as adjusting to being blind, Lou is definitely getting around the house a little better than she was a week ago.  She still gets a little lost from time to time, and she still refuses to go out onto the back deck or use the bathroom in the back yard for some unknown reason; however, she does a much better job of finding the water bowl in the kitchen all by herself, and Lexie has even established a preferred route from the kitchen into the living room, which is through the dining room. 

Lexie is also finally becoming more confident about climbing onto the couch, which makes me very happy because that has always been her favorite spot to snuggle and sleep.  For a while, she would only get up on the couch at night, after Justin and I had gone to bed.  We had tried coaxing her onto the sofa with us several times over the last few days, but she would always just lay down by our feet instead.  Then, last night this happened:



I still tear up when I watch that video.  Haha! 

We also decided not to give Lexie any pain medication last night, as she seemed more alert and hasn't really been showing any signs of pain (when we first brought her home, we knew it was time for her pain medication whenever she would kind of start trembling).  Our plan is to cut back on her Tramadol and only give it to her once in the morning because it will help her sleep while we're at work.  If she starts showing any signs of pain, of course, we will give her another dose at night, but I really don't think we'll need to.

So, overall, Lexie's first week of recovery has gone fairly smoothly.  We're still about another week away from being able to have her stitches removed, but in the meantime these are the next signs of progress that I'd like to see:

• I'm hoping that the swelling above Lexie's right eye will greatly improve within the next week.
• I want Lexie to eat better (we're completely cutting out table food for all the girls). 
• I'd love to see Lexie's mood improve.
• We'd eventually like to ween her off the pain medications completely.
• I expect Lexie to become even more familiar with the layout of the house and bump into walls, furniture, etc. much less.

I'm So Exhausted

Last night, Justin and I agreed that the swelling over Lexie’s right eye may have worsened a bit (I photographed her from the left side so you could see how far her right eye incision is bulging out).  Neither of us was very concerned, as we thought she possibly just bonked her head while we were at work, but we thought it might be a good idea to call MedVet anyway.  After all, last Saturday, when a woman from MedVet called to check on Lexie, I mentioned to her that I noticed a tinge of blood in Lexie’s stool that day, and she told me to discontinue Lexie’s anti-inflammatory medication, as that can sometimes cause bowel irritation.  So, Lexie hasn’t been taking her anti-inflammatory medication since last Saturday, and I thought that maybe they would just prescribe her a different kind of anti-inflammatory once I told them that the swelling in her eye had gotten a little worse.

The woman I spoke to last night, Julie, asked me all sorts of questions:  How has Lexie’s appetite been?  Is she drinking water?  Is she going to the bathroom regularly?  How is her mood?  I was able to answer all of these questions with either “good” or “yes.”  Then, Julie asked if the swollen skin around Lexie’s right eye was warm or tender to the touch.  I put her on hold as I felt Lexie’s eye, but I couldn’t really feel a difference in temperature between her right and left eye, and she didn’t act like it bothered her when I touched it.  Then, Julie asked me to take a couple of pictures of Lexie’s eye, email the photos to Dr. Kennedy, Lexie’s soft tissue surgeon, take Lexie’s temperature (note to self: NEVER use the digital Walgreens thermometer EVER again!), and then call her back.

After following Julie’s instructions (Lexie’s temperature was 101.2, which is in the normal range for a dog), she contacted Dr. Kennedy, who reviewed the photos I sent him.  He said it looks like it could just be a seroma, which is normal.  However, if the swollen area becomes tender, if we notice a discharge that looks more like frank blood and not bloody fluid, if there is an odor, or if the discharge looks like pus then we are to bring Lexie back to MedVet because it could be an abscess.

Greeeeeaaaaat. 

 All I could do for the rest of the night was stare at Lexie’s swollen eye.  I went to bed in tears over the possibility of having to take her back to MedVet. 

This morning, the swelling didn’t look any better.  Then, after Lexie bumped her face on the steps while coming back inside after going outside to pee, I noticed a little bit of blood (not bloody fluid) coming from the swollen part of her eye.  I've also noticed that Lou's appetite seems to be diminishing, although Justin thinks she’s just becoming picky because we made the mistake of feeding her a lot of table food when she first came home.  At first, she would eat both table food and dog food, then she stopped eating her dog food, and now she’s even becoming a little picky about table food.  I used to put her medication inside little balls of bread, which she loved, but now she turns her nose every time I offer her the same bread.  Then, I started putting her medication inside these organic peanut butter treats our friends, Zoltan and Sarah, made for her, which Lexie also loved at first, but now she no longer seems interested in them.  This morning, the only way I could get her to take her medication was to put the pills inside rolled up slices of cheese, and even then I felt like I was making her eat them.  Not only that, but she looked kind of shaky and unsteady on her feet while she was walking around this morning (all the more reason for me to worry about her while I’m at work today).

I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.  My life has basically been CONSUMED with worrying and taking care of Lexie ever since she first became sick at the beginning of June.  In fact, I feel like I no longer have a life of my own. 

I have a large, close group of friends, whom I love.  We would all hang out at least a couple times a week and on the weekends, and when we weren’t hanging out, we would all keep in touch daily via social networking and text messaging.  However, I can’t tell you the last time I sent someone a text or posted anything on Facebook or Twitter that wasn’t Lexie-related.  For that reason, I haven’t really texted anyone or tweeted in a long time because I feel like I’m just wearing everyone out with Lexie stuff at this point, and yet there’s honestly nothing more important to me right now, which is why I can’t even think of anything else to talk about.  I have also turned down several invites to various cook-outs and other random opportunities to hang out because I needed to stay home and take care of Lexie.  I have made time to hang out with my friends on a few occasions over the last couple of weeks, but whenever I do, I feel like I literally have to bite my tongue to keep myself from talking about Lou all night, and I just worry about her the whole time anyway. 

I’ve also fallen behind with my photo editing (I’m a photographer on the side) because of all my trips to Ohio and now having to watch Lexie like a hawk, and my house is a complete wreck for the same reasons.  Justin and I haven’t done anything fun or spent any quality time together since June, either.  Our lives and conversations revolve solely around Lexie.  We’ve got a big beach trip with our friends coming up at the end of August, which normally I’d be super excited about, but this year I’m almost dreading it because I know I’ll just be worrying about Lexie the whole time (she’s going to be staying with Justin’s parents, and she’s not very familiar with them or their house).  Not to mention the fact that I’m the type of person who eats her feelings, so let’s just say that I’m not exactly feeling “bikini-ready” at the moment (all of my work pants are fitting kind of snug lately, which makes me feel awesome.)  In general, I really miss what my life was like before June, 2012. 

With that said, please do not take this little rant to mean that I regret even one single minute of the time I’ve spent taking care of my Lou, because I don’t…at all!  I’m just venting, basically, because I do miss my friends, I do miss having fun, I do miss doing “couple things” with Justin, I do miss not worrying about Lexie 24/7, I do miss feeling comfortable in my clothes, I do miss having at least a little bit of spending money, and I do miss feeling like I’m more on top of things like housework, editing, bills, etc.    

I just want things to feel normal again, but now that I’m sitting here wondering if I’ll be taking Lexie BACK to MedVet soon, it just makes me feel like this TRULY is never going to end. 

An ER-Free Weekend!

That's right, we made it through the entire weekend without an emergency trip to the ER!  Woo hoo!  Lexie's incisions barely even had any oozing yesterday.  (By the way, I wish there was another word I could use besides "oozing," because that just sounds so gross to me, but I really don't know what else to call it.) 

Sam has continued to be a little pouty, but usually only when Lexie is actively receiving more attention than her, especially from Justin.  For example, I took these photos yesterday of Justin giving Lexie a little bit of lovin's and also helping her eat (it's difficult for Lou to reach the food in her new elevated bowl when she's wearing her E-collar, so we have to kind of tilt the bowl towards her so she can get the food):

After I took those photos, I turned around to find Sam laying on the couch in full-pout mode as she watched HER Justin giving Lexie all of his attention:

Yes, I know.  She's pitiful.  Don't let her fool you, though.  Sam knows what she's doing.  She knows that as soon as we see her in such a pitiful state, she will immediately receive some undivided attention from either or both of us, which is exactly what happened after I took that photo of her.  At least she's just being pouty in order to receive attention, though, and she's not actually being resentful toward Lexie.  Just a few moments after the above photo was taken, I found Sam curled up with Lexie in the new doggy bed:

Earlier, I had experienced another "awwwww" moment when Zach and Kristy came over to watch True Blood.  Lexie loves Kristy, who was her running partner before Lexie went blind, and Kristy loves Lexie.  So, as soon as Lexie heard Kristy's voice last night, she got up from her doggy bed and tried to find her.  Kristy had followed Zach into the laundry room and didn't realize Lexie was looking for her, but I watched silently from the couch as Lexie found her way through the kitchen all by herself and finally reached Kristy.  When Kristy felt Lexie kind of run into the back of her legs, she spun around and said, "Hi, Lou!" then bent down to pet her.  As I saw Lexie do the infamous "Dobe lean" into Kristy's arms (the equivalent of a human hug for Dobermans), I immediately teared up. 

The best moment of the night, though, came when Justin and I were taking care of Lexie before bed.  While administering her last dose of pain meds for the night and making sure her E-collar was secure, both Sam and Jocie came over to "help" me and Justin tuck Lou in:

All in all, it was a very good, drama-free weekend at our house...for a change!  We've still got a long road ahead of us, as right now we're just sort of in the initial "stitches-watching" phase, which is going to last about another week and a half until her stitches come out.  Then, we can REALLY dive into helping Lexie adjust by taking her on walks with her sisters, trying new games, and just working with her in general to help her become as independent as possible.

A Little Forward and a Little Backward

I'm definitely considering Lexie's unwillingness to go into the back yard to use the bathroom a step backward for now.  I don't understand it.  She managed to find her way around the back yard before her enucleation (when she first went blind), and even after her enucleation Lexie has gone down the back steps into the yard, used the bathroom, and found her way back up the steps without much difficulty, but only a couple of times.  Since her enucleation surgery, she just does not want to come out onto the back deck, let alone find her way down the steps to the yard.  I just don't get it!

The only way we've been able to get Lexie to use the bathroom since she's come home from MedVet is to put on her harness and walk her out to the grassy median in front of the house.  For some reason, she has no problem manipulating the two sets of steps leading from our front door and down to the walkway, so I'm totally puzzled about why she won't do the same for the steps in the back yard.


Anyway, Justin and I had the best, laziest Saturday with our Lou.  She spent most of the day zonked out due to her pain medication, but during the times she was awake she was all smiles.

All day yesterday, Justin and I tried to get Lexie to get up on the couch with us, which has always been her favorite place to sleep and cuddle.  However, she just seemed too nervous to try.  This morning, however, I came downstairs and found her sound asleep on the couch.  Her E-collars were on the floor, so I checked her stitches immediately and was relieved to find them perfectly intact.  Then, after replacing her hard E-collar, I proceeded to cuddle her like crazy on the couch for the next three hours.

While we were cuddling, the "old Lou" made her first appearance since before her surgeries.  One of the reasons why Lexie earned her reputation as being "our little turd" is because of how demanding she can be when it comes to receiving cuddles and attention.  As you can see in the following video, if I stopped petting her for more than a few seconds, she'd start groaning in protest:



By the way, I realize that some people may find Lexie's incisions a little hard to look at, but, if it makes you feel any better, her incisions look really good, especially compared to after her last surgery.  Here is a side-by-side comparison:

So, I guess that's the update for now.  She's happy and her wounds all look good, but we haven't made a ton of forward progress yet in terms of her adjustment to blindness.  It's only been two days, though.  I can tell you this much:  it's going to be SO HARD for me to leave Lexie and go to work tomorrow.  I'm probably going to worry about her all day, but at least Justin always comes home for lunch and he can check on her for me.

Lexie's Second Homecoming

Lexie was SO happy to be going home last night!  As you can hear in the video, though, I was a little disappointed when they brought her out without a hard E-collar.  The inflatable one she's wearing belongs to me, but it doesn't protect her from bumping her face when she bumps into things.  However, when I asked (once again) if I could have a hard E-collar to take home, the vet tech told me that the inflatable one should be enough to protect Lexie's stitches.  I was too excited about taking Lexie home to insist or argue about it, so I didn't push the issue.  After all, I own a hard E-collar that she could wear that night, and I could always go to Dr. Ellis at Animal Care Clinic if the collar I have doesn't work out for her.

I couldn't see her repaired incisions because her head was already wrapped with bandages, but at first glance it didn't look like her wounds were oozing half as much as they were the last time I picked her up after her second surgery.  Lexie also looked like she had had a tummy tuck!  After her emergency C-section due to pyometra last summer, Lexie was left with a saggy, flabby belly.  It didn't bother me, but people would sometimes ask me if Lou had just had a litter of puppies.  Haha!  "Nope.  She's just fat."  Anyway, I'm just saying that having a mastectomy has left Lexie looking very svelte.  

As we left MedVet (hopefully for the last time), Lexie was so excited that she was swinging her head from side to side while she walked, like a little Lexie Wonder!  When I opened the car door, she recognized that sound right away and knew exactly how to climb up into the back seat all by herself.  I had her new doggy bed laying in the middle of the back seat, and she plopped right down on top of it.  I climbed into the back seat and sat behind her, but that wasn't good enough for me.  I wanted to cuddle her little face!  So, I maneuvered my way down to the other end of the back seat where Lexie's head was laying, and as soon as I sat down by her face, Lexie immediately laid her head and put her paws in my lap.  It was a total "awwwww" moment.  Then, after we got back on the road, I noticed she was shivering a little bit because the air conditioning was blowing on her.  Luckily, I had brought her favorite comforter, and so Lexie and I snuggled under the blankets during the entire three-hour ride back to West Virginia.

Once we were home, Lexie knew EXACTLY where she was, and she was so happy!  I decided to take her out to the back yard with her sisters before taking off her harness, just in case I needed to help her find her way up and down the deck steps and the back yard.  She did really well, though!  She was a tad apprehensive about going down the steps, but as soon as she found the yard she peed immediately, and then successfully made her way back up the steps and into the house without much difficulty.

When I removed Lexie's bandages, I did notice some blood (or "bloody fluid," I should say), but not nearly as much as after her last surgery.  In fact, her incisions look pretty good!  There's some swelling above her right eye, and that right incision still oozes a lot more than the left, but I think that may have something to do with the fact that her right eye has the vertical incision.

On a side note, one thing I hadn't really considered while preparing for Lexie's homecoming was the fact that Sam is now going to go through a new adjustment period, too.  This may sound awful, but Sam actually acted a little hurt or upset about Lexie being home again.  To be fair, Sam LOVES attention, but has always been perfectly content to sort of take the back seat to Lexie, who is a little more demanding about receiving attention whenever she wants it, which is just about always.  So, while Lexie was at MedVet over the past couple of weeks, Sam gradually became more and more assertive about receiving attention from me and Justin whenever SHE wanted it.  As soon as Lexie walked through the front door last night, though, it's like someone completely let the air out of Sam's tires.  She kind of curled up in the corner of the couch and pouted while everyone fussed over Lexie (Zach and Kristy came over to welcome Lexie home, too).

I do feel bad that Sam's not receiving as much one-on-one attention now that Lexie is home, but unfortunately it can't really be helped right now.  Lexie is going to need extra attention as she heals and learns how to safely navigate around the house and back yard.  Justin and I are trying to be as mindful as possible of Sam's feelings and give her extra cuddles whenever we can, but I think it's going to be a bit of a delicate juggling act with those two for a while.  (Jocie, by the way, hasn't been affected at all by anything that's been going on, but that's just Jocie.)

Anyway, after watching Lexie bump her face on a couple different things in the house, I decided to fasten the hard E-collar I had over top of the inflatable E-collar she was already wearing.  (That way, she can't pull the hard E-collar off.)  At first, Justin and I felt bad for Lexie because of all the stuff around her poor little head, but once we saw how much better the hard E-collar was protecting her from bumping her face into things, we didn't feel so bad anymore.

Unfortunately, as soon as Justin and I went upstairs to go to bed last night, Lexie managed to pull both the hard and inflatable E-collars off.  Justin discovered this when he ran back downstairs to get something.  So, we decided it might be best to sleep in the same room as Lexie for at least the first night.  Justin slept on the couch, but I chose to sleep on Lexie's new doggy bed in the floor with her (the purple pillow in that photo was mine).  Haha!   It was uncomfortable and blissful all at once, but she barely moved all night long.

When I tried to get Lexie to go out this morning, she acted like she wanted to at first, but as soon as she made it to the back door, she became very apprehensive about going outside.  I tried calling her for a while, but when that didn't work I decided to try leading her out with her harness and leash.  At first, that seemed to be working, but as soon as Lexie reached the steps, she decided she didn't want to go down them.  I told her that was fine, that she didn't HAVE to go pee right now if she wanted to hold it, but when I tried to get her to go back inside, she wouldn't budge.  In fact, I think she was a little disoriented at that point and wasn't really sure which way she was facing.  I jokingly informed Justin that Lexie was "lost on the back deck," but I knew she would figure it out eventually.  She did, but it took a LONG time for her to come back inside.

So, getting Lexie to go out to use the bathroom during the day is apparently still going to be a challenge, but I'm hoping she'll become more comfortable with that routine over time.  For now, she's sleeping a lot, but she's eating and drinking like a champ.  She's also SUPER cuddly, which you'll never hear me complain about.  In fact, as I began typing this blog post, Lexie followed the sound of my typing, found me on the couch, and did this:

:)

Surgery #3 Was a Success, But....

The last time I received a "but" after one of Lexie's surgeries, it was, "Lexie's surgery went really well, but we did notice she has developed an infection...."  That infection, of course, turned out to be extensive and actually two different types of bacteria (staph and serratia), which caused Lexie's incision to pull open just approximately 14 hours after she was discharged from MetVet.

Dr. Kennedy called me last night around 9:30 p.m. to tell me that Lexie's surgery to repair the incision and also remove two mammary growths (not just one, as it turned out) went well, "but the anesthesiologist did make a note of some twitching that occurred during anesthesia."  I asked Dr. Kennedy if this is a reason for concern, but he didn't seem too worried about it.  He said he just wanted to mention it simply because the anesthesiologist noted it on Lexie's report, but he didn't think there was any reason to be concerned.  After all Lexie has been through, though, I wouldn't be surprised if she had a grand mal seizure a few hours after I get her home.  (Oh God, I didn't mean that!  *knock on wood!  knock on wood!*)

Anyway, Dr. Kennedy just called me again this morning to give me another update, and apparently Lexie did really well overnight.  He said that there was some swelling, but nothing like she had before.  He also said there was a little oozing from the incisions this morning, but that is to be expected.  I asked him if her eyes were going to ooze bloody fluid non-stop like they did the last time I brought her home, and he said he didn't think it would be as bad this time. 

On a side note, I asked Dr. Kennedy if they had ever received the results of Lexie's Von Willebrand's test (I noticed on her bill from her last surgery that I was charged for that test).  He said he wasn't sure if they had received the results back yet, but that he'd check.  I know that it takes a while for that test to come back, so I'm not going to be upset if they don't have the results yet.  Besides, at this point I'm kind of convinced she doesn't have Von Willebrand's because bleeding wasn't an issue in either of her last two surgeries.  I'm starting to think that Dr. Corbett's theory for why Lexie almost bled to death during her initial enucleation surgery is probably true:  She said that it's possible that all of Lexie's bleeding simply resulted from the fact that the eyes are very vascular organs with lots of veins and blood vessels that have to be surgically cut during an enucleation. 

So, technically, Lexie is allowed to come home tonight, but I told Dr. Kennedy that I would prefer to wait until Saturday to pick her up.  I reminded him that the last time I brought her home the day after her surgery, her stitches burst 11 hours later.  He said he completely understood and thought I was making a wise decision.  I know that leaving her two more nights for observation is definitely a better decision than picking her up this evening, but it's also killing me to know that she could come home tonight.  I want my Lou home with me so badly!!!!  I'm going to be strong, though, and hold off until Saturday morning to go get her, because I know it's for the best.  Well.....maybe tomorrow night.....

A Deal Is Made...Minutes Before Surgery

I finally got a phone call from MedVet a little after 6:30 p.m.; however, it wasn't Dr. Kennedy calling to discuss the cost or hear my decision about Lexie's mastectomy.  It was just some girl calling to say, "Ms. Bell, we're just calling to let you know that Lexie is going into surgery now."

I asked, "Well, what exactly is she about to have done?" to which she replied, "Ummm....I don't know.  They just told me to call you.  Let me get someone else."

The next girl who came on the line told me that Dr. Kennedy was unavailable to speak because he was in surgery, but asked if she could help me.  Oooooohhhhh.....that poor girl.  I basically WENT OFF.  I will spare you all the minute details of my psychotic rant, but here is a run-down of some of my major speaking points:

• The doctors knew that Lexie's wounds were infected the day they performed her surgery.
• The doctors know that an infection can sometimes cause an incision to pull open.
• The doctors had not yet received the results of Lexie's bacterial cultures the day after her surgery, so they were not aware at that point that she actually had both staph and serratia infections, which were quite extensive, and yet the doctors told me that Lexie was "stable" and ready to go home when she clearly was not. 
• The doctors sent us home with Cephalexin, an antibiotic to which staph and serratia infections are resistant.
• Lexie's stitches pulled open just approximately 14 hours after she was discharged from MedVet, and now she has had to stay there for another seven nights and have another surgery as a result.

I told that girl that I did nothing wrong.  I simply came and picked Lexie up when the doctors told me she was stable and cleared to go home, which was obviously too soon.  I felt like I was having to pay for THEIR mistake.  I also launched into a big rant about how I've been told by five different doctors all week long not to worry about the cost of this visit because they were "doing all they could to keep the costs minimal," so I honestly wasn't expecting to pay more than $1500 TOTAL.  I told her I was perfectly fine with the fact that I would have to pay full price for Lexie's mastectomy IF I was actually being cut a break on everything else.  I even went so far as to say, "I'm even willing to pay the $1800 that I was quoted for this surgery if that's ALL I have to pay."


She put me on hold for about 20 minutes while she spoke with Dr. So-and-So, who apparently has the ability to approve or deny discounts.  Finally, she came back on the line and told me that my total bill for Lexie's stay and surgery, including the mastectomy, would be $1800.  I said, "That's all I wanted.  Thank you."  


Lexie is in surgery as we speak.
'

Not a Word

Dr. Sawyer told me last night that Dr. Kennedy would call me before Lexie's surgery today to discuss the cost of the surgery, which may or may not include a mastectomy, as I still haven't decided whether or not I can afford it.  I have waited ALL day today, yet I have not received a single phone call from anyone at MedVet.

I finally decided to call them just before 2:00 p.m. I was transferred to a surgical tech, who told me that Lexie had not yet undergone surgery due to the fact that they had a couple of emergency surgeries this morning.  That is completely understandable, and I was not upset at all by the fact that she hadn't had her surgery yet.  I explained to the woman on the phone that Dr. Kennedy was supposed to call me before Lou's surgery, so I was just calling to find out what was going on since I hadn't heard from him yet.  She told me that Lexie would probably have her surgery in about an hour, and she said someone would call me beforehand.

That was two and a half hours ago.  I'm about to start taking bets on whether or not Lexie actually has surgery today... 

THIS Is My Discount?!?

I have made it very clear to the doctors at MedVet that money is a HUGE issue for me at this point.  They have all seemed very understanding and sympathetic and have been telling me since I brought Lexie back last Thursday that they were going to do everything they can to make the charges "as minimal as possible" for me.  I wasn't required to leave a deposit this time, either, so I trusted that the doctors at MedVet really were going to cut me a break.  After all, they had sent Lexie home before knowing she had TWO different bacterial infections (staph and serratia), which they later told me were the reason why Lexie's stitches burst.  Furthermore, not only was Lou sent home with the wrong antibiotics for her type of bacterial infections, but she was also sent home without an E-collar to protect her stitches, even after I specifically requested one!  (The vet tech, Amanda, told me that they "generally don't think an E-collar is necessary" and added that "it may get in Lexie's way as she tries to find her way around the house.")

So, I really wasn't THAT worried about cost at first, but every time I asked a doctor for an estimate over the phone, I was told that they "didn't have one yet."  I started to get a little concerned when I learned that Lexie's surgery was being pushed back another few days AND Dr. Kennedy was recommending she have a mastectomy.  I specifically told Dr. Kennedy that I wanted an estimate so I could decide whether or not I could afford to have the mastectomy performed at this time.  Dr. Sawyer told me yesterday that Dr. Kennedy had spoken to Administration, and they had given him the go-ahead to discount Lexie's services.  She said that he was going to "crunch the numbers" that night, then call me with a cost estimate for everything today.  She also said, "Believe me, we're doing everything we can to help you out, so you don't have to worry...."  I truly believed at that point that I would end up owing maybe $1000-1500 when it was all said and done, which is still a lot, but I was trying to stay realistic.

Well, I waited all day today, but never got a call from anyone at MedVet.  So, I called a little before 6:00 p.m. to find out what was going on.  After all, Lexie's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, and I didn't want them to perform the mastectomy if I can't afford it.  Mind you, I have NO money left.  The only way I'm able to "pay" for this next surgery is because my brother, Zach, was kind enough to open a Care Credit account for me to use (I was turned down for one).  His credit limit is $3000, but, like I said, I was pretty confident that I'd only need about half of that.

Well, I was wrong.  First of all, Dr. Sawyer said that Dr. Kennedy had a family emergency today, which is why he didn't call me.  He told her to tell me, though, that the estimate for Lexie's surgery, AFTER the discount, is going to be around $1800!!!!  That includes the mastectomy, but does NOT include the charges that have accrued from Lexie having to stay there for so many nights.  Dr. Sawyer said the balance for Lexie's care and overnight stays so far was at around $1400, but she also said that a discount has not been applied to that amount yet.  Even so, Lexie still has to be there for two more nights!

I told Dr. Sawyer that I was expecting to not have to pay more than about $1500 TOTAL because everyone has been telling me this whole time not to worry about the cost and assuring me that Administration was going to "help me out."  I also explained to her that I HAVE to stay under Zach's $3000 Care Credit limit, to which she replied by assuring me that they'd do all they can to keep my total under $3000.

REALLY?!?!?!?  Gee, THANKS!!!!!!  I know that $3000 must not seem like a lot of money to these doctors or the big wigs in Administration, but that's almost two whole months' salary for me!  How can they not take into greater consideration the fact that I just paid MedVet $3500 (thanks solely to the generous donations of others) last Tuesday, plus a $1250 deposit a couple nights before that, AND I paid them around $1000 during two separate visits prior to Lexie's enucleation surgery?!?!

Seriously, I cannot freaking believe they are acting like they're doing me a favor by ONLY charging me another $3000 to repair her incisions, which never should have opened in the first place!!!!!!  WHY did they send her home one day after her surgery before they even knew the type and extent of her infection, especially knowing that infection sometimes causes incisions to pull open?

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not happy.  I'm in shock.  This can't be right, can it?!?!  I keep thinking that this additional 7-night stay and need to perform an additional eye surgery could have all been avoided if the vets had simply kept Lexie there for a couple of days while awaiting the results of her bacterial cultures.  I am SO disappointed right now because I truly do believe that MedVet provides excellent medical care.  Therefore, it's such a shame that my opinion of them may now be tainted due to their inability to accept more responsibility for all of this.

Still on Schedule...Still No Estimate

I just got a call from Dr. Sawyer, the doctor who's name I couldn't remember from my previous post, but there's nothing really new for me to report.  Lexie was really good when they changed her bandages yesterday, and the wound still looks good.  So, as of now, her surgery is still scheduled for Wednesday.

Dr. Sawyer then told me that Dr. Kennedy has spoken with Administration about my bill, including the cost of performing Lexie's mastectomy while she is under anesthesia on Wednesday.  She said that Dr. Kennedy is going to "crunch some numbers" tonight, and then call me with an estimate in the morning. 

In the meantime, I don't think Wednesday has ever felt so far away...

Surgery Pushed Back to Wednesday

After crying off an on all day yesterday about the fact that I'll have to wait until probably Tuesday to pick up Lexie (I miss her so much it hurts), I found out today that I probably won't be able to pick her up until at least Thursday.

The reason I've been so upset about not having Lexie home with me, despite knowing she's receiving excellent medical care right now, is because I feel like these first couple of weeks after having her eyes surgically removed is a very important time for me to BE THERE for her, and I'm not.  She awoke from her surgery to a pitch black new world, and instead of learning how to re-adjust to her daily routine with mine and Justin's help and love,  she has spent these last couple of weeks either in a car being rushed to the vet or locked up in a kennel for observation.  Besides the 11 hours she was actually home, her only interactions have been with unfamiliar doctors and vet techs.  It breaks my heart to think about how confused and alone she must be feeling right now.  She's probably wondering why she hasn't heard mine or Justin's voices in so long and wondering where her sisters are.  

However, I'm trying not to dwell on such thoughts too much because I do realize it's actually a very good thing that they've pushed back Lexie's surgery.  The doctor I spoke to this morning (I forgot her name) said that Lexie's infection has cleared up a lot since we first brought her back in last Thursday night.  Apparently, her staph and serratia infections were much more extensive than I had realized, but the doctor said that the wound looks much better today.  She said she even took a picture of Lexie's wound and sent it to Dr. Kennedy, who agreed that the antibiotics appear to be working nicely.  Therefore, they've decided the best plan of action is to wait another couple of days to continue to allow the antibiotics to do their thing and clear up the infection as much as possible before repairing her incision, which will probably be on Wednesday.  (Remember, these infections were the reason why Lexie's sutures pulled out, so the less infection present in the wound when they sew her back up, the more likely the wound will stay closed this time.)  Therefore, even though I'm bummed that I have to wait even longer to pick up my Lou, it's nice to know that the vets are being extra cautious this time to ensure that no further complications will occur once I finally get her home.  In fact, I'm trying not to even get my hopes up about bringing her home the day after her surgery because it's quite possible they may keep her an extra day or so, just to be safe.  I probably won't know that until after her surgery, though.  

I also don't know yet whether or not Lexie is going to have her swollen mammary gland removed during the same surgery.  I reminded the doctor I spoke with today about this, and she said she'd mention it to Dr. Kennedy and see if they can get a cost estimate for me.  I hope I can swing it, because now I feel like I just want to have it done so as not to have to put Lou through any more surgeries.  *fingers crossed*

Then, They Brought Up the "C" Word

Dr. Kennedy just called to give me an update about Lexie.  She's doing well.  They cleaned her right eye really well yesterday and bandaged it, but they aren't going to change the bandage again until tomorrow.  If it looks like it NEEDS to be closed tomorrow, they will, but Dr. Kennedy would like to perform the surgery on Monday, if possible.  

Then, he asked me about Lexie's swollen mammary gland and how long it has been producing a discharge.  Excuse me?????  I had noticed her swollen mammary gland for the last couple of years, but I had never noticed a discharge.  I certainly would have taken her to the vet if I had.  My dog, Sam, had growths happening all over her body for a few years, but the vet assured me they were just benign fatty deposits.  Still, I decided to have five of Sam's growths removed  last year (shortly before Lexie had to have emergency surgery for pyometra) just because I didn't want them to get any larger.  I had planned to do the same for Lexie this year, but then all of this happened.  

Anyway, I was not aware that a growth in a dog's mammary gland is a bigger deal than a growth anywhere else on the body, until Dr. Kennedy just told me that.  He said that anytime there is a growth in a dog's mammary gland, there is a 50/50 chance that it will be cancer.  Not only that, but if they were to aspirate her growth right now and the cells tested positive for cancer, then it's cancer; however, if the cells tested negative for cancer, there's still a 50/50 chance that it's cancer.  I asked how much an aspiration would cost, but Dr. Kennedy said that he hated to perform one because, if it tests negative, it's just a waste of money.  

I asked Dr. Kennedy if cancer would have shown up in Lexie's X-ray and/or ultrasound that she just had done recently.  He said that it takes billions of cells for an X-ray to show a 1 cm growth.  So, while it's GOOD that Lexie's X-ray and ultrasound did not show any signs of cancer, it still does not mean that there is no cancer present.  

AWESOME!!!!!!

Basically, Dr. Kennedy just wanted me to be aware of the fact that a mammary growth is not something that should be let go for very long and suggested I have it removed sooner than later, because even if it's not cancer it still needs to be removed.  I told Dr. Kennedy that, after all Lexie has been through lately, I would love to be able to wait until her eyes are completely healed before putting her through another surgery.  On the other hand, now I'm super worried to wait any longer to have her mammary growth removed.  Dr. Kennedy said that he still didn't know what Lexie's current stay and upcoming eye surgery was going to cost because Administration has just told the vets to do what Lexie needs to have done, then they'd discuss my bill.  However, Dr. Kennedy said he was going to go ahead and ask for an estimate of how much it would cost to also remove Lou's mammary growth during her surgery on Monday.  He made it clear that Administration is only going to try to cut me a break on Lexie's eye surgery, so if I decide to have her mammary growth removed I will be charged their regular fee for that procedure.  

So, yeah.  Now there's also the question of cancer to worry about.  It's probably going to depend on how kind Administration is to me in regard to the cost of Lexie's eye surgery whether or not I will have Lou's mammary growth removed on Monday.  Believe me, if I can figure out a way to afford it, I'm going to have it done.  If I can't afford it right now, I'm going to save all my pennies so that I can have it removed as soon as possible.

Will This Ever End?

I swear, if you look in the back seat of my car right now, it looks like I have murdered an animal.  My car is covered in fur and spots of blood, which you can see in this photo.  Bless her heart, Lexie licked that seat almost the entire way to Ohio last night.  Anytime she leaves a spot of blood on the carpet, a pillow, the car seat, or even my leg, she immediately tries to clean it up for me. 

Anyway, I just got a call from Dr. Webb at MedVet (Dr. Corbett is in Cincinnati this week, but Dr. Webb works with her).  Lexie's incision sites did not bleed much through the night, which is good becuase it's a sign she does not have Von Willebrand's disease, but they don't know for sure if she has it yet because her test results still aren't back from New York.  Anyway, Lexie's bacterial culture did come back showing that she's got two different kinds of bacterial infections right now:  staph and serratia, which are resistant to the antibiotics she is currently taking.  I should also add that Dr. Webb believes that these infections may be the reason why Lexie's incisions are pulling.  So, they've changed Lexie to a more heavy-duty antibiotic. 

Meanwhile, Dr. Webb has consulted with their soft tissue surgeon, Dr. Kennedy, who will be repairing Lexie's incision.  Luckily, Dr. Kennedy feels Lou still has enough surrounding soft tissue to make it possible to re-close the wounds without having to perform a skin flap surgery, which is kind of an extensive (and I'm presuming expensive) last resort procedure.

I did ask Dr. Webb about Lexie's immune system because I know it has been weakened by the Prednisone (steroid) she was taking in the 1-1/2 weeks leading up to her bilateral enucleation surgery.  She had been prescribed Prednisone because it was believed that her original disorder, anterior uveitis, was an autoimmune disorder, and Prednisone's function is to weaken her immune system in order to get it to stop attacking her own body.  However, the ER vet on duty last night, Dr. Foust, explained that Lexie's weakened immune system could be a reason why she's having these post-surgical complications and not healing as quickly as we would like.  Therefore, I asked Dr. Webb if there was anything they could give Lexie that would help build her immune system back up.  Dr. Webb said I posed an excellent question, and she would speak to their Integrative Medicine department, which specializes in alternative therapies to compliment conventional treatments and veterinary medicine.  She said they may have some suggestions for improving Lexie's immune system.

On an up note, when I asked Dr. Webb about a cost estimate, she said that she didn't have one yet, but added, "I promise, we are going to do all we can to keep the cost as minimal as possible for you."  She said that I would probably still end up with a balance, but she said she was going to talk to Dr. Corbett and even Dr. Ellis to see what they could work out.  (I forgot to mention that when I dropped Lou off last night, Dr. Foust told me they weren't going to require a deposit this time, which was such a relief.) 

As I was writing this, Dr. Kennedy called.  He said that the fact that Lexie has a staph infection, which is quite extensive, in addition to the serratia infection, is a little concerning.  He said it would be prudent for them to treat this as an open wound for a couple of days in order to allow her new antibiotics to start fighting the infections while they also treat and clean the soft tissues of her wound.  That way they'll be as healthy as possible when she goes into surgery on Monday, or possibly Sunday.  He sounded confident, though, that Lexie is going to be okay when this is all said and done (if it ever ends!!!!).  I asked Dr. Kennedy if HE had a cost estimate, because Dr. Webb had predicted that Lexie would come home tomorrow, but now it looks like Lexie may not come home until next Monday or Tuesday.  Dr. Kennedy said he did not know yet what this will cost, but he said that they are still "working on it," and he'll call me later with an estimate.

Please continue to keep Lexie in your thoughts in prayers, especially for her immune system to regain strength in order to fight the bacterial infections, along with her new antibiotics.  As much as I love the doctors at MedVet, I'm hoping never to see them again after this next surgery.  *knock on wood*

Aaaand Back to the ER

I was right, Lexie must have busted some of her stitches earlier, and throughout the course of the day the rest of the stitches must have just worked themselves out, too, because around 10:00 p.m. I discovered that her incision was completely open.  Not busted wide open or anything like that, but it was obvious the incision wasn't being held together tightly and none of the stitches were visible at all anymore.

So, my only option was to rush her to our local Animal ER, and let me tell you, I am NOT happy with that place right now.  I called ahead to let them know we were coming.  Then, as soon as we walked in, I saw a puddle of pee on the floor with a yellow Caution sign sitting next to it (the puddle dried in the amount of time we were there, by the way, and no one ever even moved the sign, let alone mopped the floor).  Then, I told the girl behind the counter who we were, what was going on, and even told her I was freaking out a little.  She handed me a form and told me to fill it out, then she disappeared into the back somewhere for about....oh....I'd say at least twenty minutes!  For twenty minutes, my Lou sat in the waiting room just bleeding from her right eye while I nervously and angrily tapped my nails on the counter waiting for someone to come back and help us.

Finally, a different girl emerged from the back, but I don't even think she was going to help us until I said, "Excuse me, but I would feel MUCH better if someone would at least come take my dog."  Her reply?  "What's wrong with her?"  Unbelievable.

Well, that second girl did take Lexie to the back for me, but then we didn't see another employee for the next half hour or so, not even at the front desk!  Finally, a vet (at least, I hope she was an actual vet) called us into a room.  She said she already knew a little bit about Lexie's case because Dr. Ellis had called the Animal ER last Friday to see if they had plasma after Lexie's blood wouldn't clot.  She asked me if Lexie had any problems during her second surgery at MedVet, and I told her she didn't.  However, I added that we never really found out for sure if Lexie has Von Willenbrand's disease.

I guess for that reason, this vet said that she "didn't want to do anything that might cause all that to start up again," and told me she was going to put some ointment on Lexie's wound and then put a patch on it.  A PATCH!  I asked if she could at least put one or two stitches in it to close it up better, but she said that because Lou's surgery was two days ago, she'd have to re-open her wound a little in order to stitch it back up, which is exactly what she didn't want to do because she was afraid Lexie would start bleeding uncontrollably again.

So, I asked if they could at least keep Lexie overnight for observation because there's no way I'd be able to sleep tonight if I took her home with just a patch on her opened incision.  They said that was fine, so that's where Lexie is now.  I'm going to have to get up super early in order to go pick her up and take her to the Animal Care Clinic before I have to be at work at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow.

Will this ever end?????

Celebrating Red, White, and Lou!

I am so thankful that Justin and I were able to stay home with Lexie today because of the 4th of July holiday.  All of my friends are headed to a big cookout, and I have to admit that I'm starting to feel a little cooped up, but there's no way I'd leave my Lou today.

She's been sleeping most of the day because of her pain medication, but when she's awake she seems happy, despite how awful she looks.  I'm trying to keep her face clean, but it's a losing battle right now.  Her right eye is really worrying me.  I'm not a vet by any means, but it looks to me like she may have busted a stitch or two.  I tried calling MedVet, but they told me the ophthalmology department isn't in today, and Animal Care Clinic is closed today, too (i.e. the one downside to having Lexie's first day home fall on a holiday).  Yesterday, the veterinary ophthalmologist at MedVet told me that it's normal to see some bloody discharge coming from Lexie's eyes over the next several days, but right now it looks like it's just plain blood.  It's not gushing, though, and her incision doesn't look like it's bursting or anything, so I'm hoping to just wait until tomorrow morning to take her to see Dr. Ellis.  If it starts to look worse, I'll take her to the local animal ER tonight.  

The other thing that's worrying me a little is that Lexie hasn't peed all day.  She went out this morning without any problem, but she didn't pee.  For the rest of the day, anytime I've tried to let the girls out Lexie will walk to the back door, but then refuses to come outside.  The last time I tried to get her to go out, just a few minutes ago, she actually started trembling as Justin and I tried to coax her outside.  I'm not sure if it's the temperature that's making her hesitant to go out (it's almost 100-degrees today), or what.  I'm hoping she'll go tonight when it's cooled down.

In the meantime, I've decided to put Lexie's inflatable collar on her to prevent any further damage to her incisions.  (I still cannot believe she was sent home without an E-collar!)  She has been pretty good about leaving her stitches alone, but every now and then I'll catch her rubbing her face on the carpet.  I'm sure those stitches are itchy and uncomfortable, but I'd just rather be safe than sorry.  My poor Lou.  I'll be so glad when she's healed so I can stop worrying!