Thursday, July 26, 2012

Saying Good-Bye

When I got up this morning, I found that Lexie's mammary wounds had bled through her doggy bed during the night.  I can't believe she even found the strength to get up, go down the front steps, and walk into the yard to pee, but she did.  She did it for me.  She fought so hard for me for so long, but she collapsed on the sidewalk before she could make it back into the house, and I knew at that moment that I wasn't going to make Lexie fight any longer. 

Justin sat with her and said his good-byes while I got ready to take her to Dr. Ellis.  Then, before I left, we held each other and cried as I thanked Justin for taking such good care of my Lou.  I told him how much she loved him.  It broke my heart to see him crying so hard for her, and for me, but it also made me realize just how lucky I and my girls are to have him in our lives. 

Unfortunately, Dr. Ellis wasn't at Animal Care Clinic today, so they sent us to Dr. Mark Ayers' office.  All of the staff and Dr. Ayers were so kind to me and Lou.  I'm glad that she was surrounded by so many kind, happy voices in her final hour.  I'm also so glad that I decided to stay and be with her while she was euthanized.  I put my forehead against hers and held her face in my hands as I thanked her for loving me and told her what a good girl she was.  She was peaceful, and I also felt at peace as I finally let her go.  I made her promise to find me again someday, though.  I have a feeling she will. 

Oh, Moomie.  I'm going to miss you so very, very much.  You'll always be my little turd, and I'll love you until my last breath.  Thank you for making me so happy for so many years. 


  1. I'm so sorry. What an emotional roller coaster you've been on the past month. Be conforted in the fact that Lou will also live on in the memory of those of us who have followed your blog and got to know her a little bit. She will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

  2. I love that picture of Lou so much. :(
    Just know that you aren't the only one who is heartbroken. I can't even imagine your pain, but I'm sharing it.

  3. I can't put in to words how I feel reading this post this morning. I am so so sorry for your loss! She is in a better place now, and you have to know that! 9 years for a Dobie is a long life & I know just by reading what all you went through with her that she was tremendously loved by you and others for all of her long 9 years. You did all you could and you need to know that....don't ever doubt that you made any wrong decisions along the way! My heart hurts for you, but time will heal. Give your other girls much love and attention because they will feel the void of Ms. Lexie too. I have been praying for you and will continue to pray for you! RIP Lexie Lou!
    <3, Shauna

  4. Oh no :(

    I only "met" you and Lexie so recently, but I hoped it wouldn't come to this, so soon. I know you had hoped so too. I trust that you made the right decision for her, and I'm so sorry that she's gone.

  5. So sorry for your loss! I have been following Lou's journey and I feel like I lost my own baby. I know the following months will be tough but remember the love that you shared. There is no love more loyal than a Dobe's love.

  6. I really can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for this whole situation. And mostly for you loss of Lexie. I know we were all hoping that it wouldn't go this way, especially so soon. I don't know what else to say... but Lexie will be there for you always. Your beautiful girl was so lucky to have you in her life.
    Rest in Peace Lexie Lou.
    -Melissa and Cato.

  7. I'll lend you for a little while
    My grandest dog He said.
    For you to love while she's alive
    And mourn for when she's dead.
    It may be one or twenty years,
    Or days or months, you see.
    But, will you, 'til I take her back,
    Take care of her for Me?

    She'll bring charms to gladden you,
    And should her stay be brief
    You'll have treasured memories
    As solace for your grief.

    I cannot promise she will stay,
    Since all from earth return.
    But, there are lessons taught on earth
    I want this dog to learn.

    I've looked the wide world over
    In My search for teachers true.
    And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes
    With trust I've selected you.

    Now will you give her your total love?
    Nor think the labor vain,
    Nor hate Me when I come
    To take her back again?

    I know you'll give her tenderness
    And love will bloom each day.
    And for the happiness you've known
    Forever grateful stay.

    But should I come and call for her
    Much sooner than you'd planned
    You'll brave the bitter grief that comes
    And someday you'll understand.

    .....Author Unknown

  8. i am sooo sorry :(:(:( she will be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge, pain-free, sight restored, strong Courtney, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this saddest moment in your life.

  9. I have been reading since the beginning, hoping that by some miracle she'd get better. I'm so sad right now. I'm crying and she wasn't even mine. Lol you're one of the best dog parents i've seen and I'm sorry it ended this way. But I'm positive Lexie knew that you were trying to save her all this time and I bet she'll be waiting for you. I'm so sorry. :(

  10. I am so sorry for you. I have read every post u have put up since chad advertised it on Facebook and I was praying for u. As a doberman owner we are truly lucky to have such wonderful dogs in our lives. Again I am so sorry my thoughts are with u. X

  11. I haven't checked your blog for awhile now, on purpose. I heard from someone that you may have lost Lexie. I just couldn't bear to think it might be true. So, I ignored the idea (something that you probably wish you could've done just as easily). You have no idea how sorry I am for you loss. I did notice that you got a new puppy. No matter what anyone says, it really is the best thing to help transition your grief into happiness. I'm sorry you had to go through such a terrible time, but glad you have the good memories to cherish forever. I wish you all the best.

    Jessica McCormick

    1. Thank you so much. This choked me up a little, but only because it means so much to me that Lexie's story touched so many people she never even met. I still can't believe she's gone, and I cry for her every single day. However, like you said, Margot has done wonders with helping Justin and I deal with the pain of losing Lexie. She's a great pup. Feel free to follow us on the new blog, :)

  12. I'm so sorry for your loss Courtney. When I was a teenager we lost our precious dobe to old age and kennel cough. She was almost 11. I loved that big dog so much. I had been reading your blog but missed it for a while. I had no idea she passed. They bring so much joy into our lives and it's very hard to accept that they are not there anymore. I miss my Daisy everyday. I was so mad at my Mom for bringing her home because I had asked for a "little" dog and she brought me a dobe. I am so glad she did. I know I missed out on having a few friends because of her. Lol. Everyone was afraid of her because she was so large. Anyway, I know what you are going through and I'm sorry. April Burklow